almost a half century

Well it will happen soon on Christmas Ill be 50 years old! It has been the hardest year I have ever had this one almost gone. I have lost more friends then I care to list and I still have yet another funeral to go to next week. I know that we are all getting old and I know that this is the way things go when you reach my age. I just didn't know that it would make me feel so old and that I would forget and want to call people that are gone. I never realized that someday I might not have the people who I look to for information and advice, no I don't mean the older generation. I knew they would pass I mean my friends from high school and my friends from grade school the ones who's birthdays come around mine and are 49 or 50 now, or should be.
I'm going to try and do something about how I feel, old I mean, I just bought a fiddle and I'm going to try to learn to play. I need to move forward and not sit as much Ive been going out to play at open mics and I think it is time to find a way to feel more a part of the world again.this is the goal for the next 25 years to find a way to make it to 75.