the first motherless mothers day

Well Its almost over the 1st year of not having my mom for mothers day. It seems so strange and my heart is so heavy. No joy many tears even when the memory was a good one it was just too hard to deal with. It will get better "they" say I just dont see it now. Ask me in a few years I tell"them" Im just going to bed I need the break from the sadness.

When you are young

When you are young there are people who change your life, I have had 2 in my life, No I'm not talking about my folks, I love them and they made me who I am, but other people, One was my friend and teacher Phil Preston, The other was the man who taught me to play guitar, Taught me the idea that you don't need to blow your own horn it works better when others do and made me believe that if you care about what you do you will do it well. George Britton was that man. Yesterday at the age of 94 he passed away. His kids tell me that he was failing and that it may have been a bit of a blessing. I understand this after losing my mom. George loved music and teaching it to kids, he loved learning and he was always advancing his knowledge of recording and technology. He was a fine wood worker. He taught me that learning how to do something well was worth the time and that if it didn't matter to you then don't even bother starting. I still live by these words and I will miss him. One of the hardest things I ever have to do is to say goodbye to someone who I have loved, no matter if the person is just out of my life or dead it is a loss in my heart. I think that George made enough difference in my life that he is a part of me and so it will not be goodbye but till I see you on the other side.

Tim Hart dies

We have lost a great source in the world of music. Tim Hart was one of the founding memebers of Steeleye span. Irish trad rock has lost a great man. RIP

amost Christmas

Well, It is almost here and my kids just cant wait. I can. The rush of work and shopping and running from inlaws to parent and back is exhausting. Who said we need to do it all and now just didn't get the idea of having a life and a family. Ok I know that it is this way for everyone and I am just being a Grinch, but hey ITS MY BIRTHDAY and I don't get a minute of time to enjoy it!

Have a great Christmas and a happy new years

Mom died

It was at 4 am on sat the 7th that I got the call, mom passed, even after the long bout with dimentia it was a hard thing to hear. We all gathered at dads and in a few moments we mad all the choices we had to make. She would be burried on sunday the 8th in the family plot and all that was left was the task of calling all the family. She had been sick for so long, we all seemed to be ok at first but we all have our cracks now. Dad is not sleeping well I seem to be like him and getting up alot. It is better this way she is nolonger in torment without the language she loved so much. I miss her alot. She is now reasting not far from max and ester and alex hatty and max too. It was a long drive back knowing I would not see her again.

report from sick bay

I have been coughing for the past 5 weeks and now they finally think they know what to do. Put me on steroids for 2 weeks and let the cough be quieted because the anti-inflammatory action of the steroid. I just hope it works.

on to the news, I don't get it Obama for the Peace Prize? what has he done, what does this do to the value of the prize, I always found merit in who ever they picked even Arafat had worked to negotiate a peace. I just don't understand could someone explain it to me. you can use big words I just don't think you ll find any. Oh well

Frank Malley

It was about 9 years ago that frank was diagnosed with cancer and for many years we knew that it would kill him, but he just kept on going, a surgery a round of chemo and he looked great, after the last surgery we thought he even might beat the cancer. It came back a few months ago, there was nothing that they could do for him and today he died. The world is a bit poorer without him his voice and knowledge of ballads. His guidance of the Irish center and his just do it ways. I will miss him. I do already. We were not together often but I always felt like we liked each other.

sad times

Well on the Sunday before memorial day we lost aunt dot, She was the best that we had and we will miss her a lot. Dot never had a bad thing to say about any one and even if she did we never knew it. At 89 years of age she just didn't want to deal with the pain or the tubes or the watching other people watch her die so after Marty told her she didn't have to stay for him she just let go. I will miss her I know that uncle Marty does as so the cousins.

On Wednesday night I spent most of the night at the pet hospital with our pet myrtle the turtle. She was very sick ad we tried some high powered antibiotics for her but it was not enough. This past Sunday we put her down and the family is feeling very empty, Turtles don't come and lick your face but it sure is sweet when you walk in a room and they put their head up out of the water to say hi. Or when they fall asleep in you shirt pocket. We all miss myrtle.

Needless to say I am not sorry to see may gone and June here. I hope that all of you are having a better spring the I am

a great loss

I am sad to report the loss of Howard Bell. He is now with so many of my other folk friends. Much of the folk community in Philadelphia knew Howard I first met him thru the first Friday sing and that was many years ago. I guess I was about 14. I wish that I was more eloquent but I will miss him. I just hope he is up there now playing "THE CAT CAME BACK" for god right now.

love and loss

I have always liked the practice of giving cards on valentines day it gives me the chance to tell the people I love just why I love them. It is harder now as I get older and so do my folks to give mom her card. she doesn't know what to do with them any more and so I have just stopped because it brings me sadness to know she cant understand what it is for.

Other people who I would give cards to are no longer in my life but I still remember the love and friendship we had. It would be so wonderful to just express to them that they still have a place in my heart. Remember to tell those you love that you do before it is not possible. Reach into the memories of life you hold dear and remind all of those that matter that you still do love and care for them.

as for me I love you mom have a good day. and Vicki Ill see you in the morning.

Almost 21 years

I have been married for almost 21 year I can look back and remember a time when I thought that 21 years was an eternity. In a lot of ways it is. Much has changed and much remains as it was and I think now will always be. I know that for the past 25 years I have gone to Vermont and gone skiing on the lat weekend of February. I got married that weekend and we still went skiing. The difference now is that we all go the kids ski and we spend the day on the mountain and the evenings in front of the fire place. I hope to as I become too old to ski sit and watch the kids as they bring their friends to the family vacation.

Many things I remember about being with my parents center around the family vacations. Every year we went to fox hollow and then camping after, then it was old songs and camping. with all of the changes in the world right now I have been looking at the things that I want to do with my kids and the family and I realize that it was not any of the expensive trips or holidays like Hanuka and the birthdays that I feel so misty for. It is the time spent camping and skiing that I want to be thinking about.

I know why my dad and mom felt this need to be out in the world now. I cant explain it but I know.

snow day

I'm home with the kids today due to the weather. I like spending time home with the kids it makes me feel more like my life is whole. I miss spending time at home when we are not doing homework or house work and can just sit and watch a movie. Hope is now on Ritalin to help with her ADHD and it has made life better. I cant imagine how hard it must have been for her. I was only ADD I didn't have the hyperactivity to go with it. It is nice to see her doing so well in school now and having fun. Today Ill get some work done when the kids have their friends here I think Ill make some sugar cookie dough and let them bake and decorate cookies. I do like being a dad.

I hope that all of you keep warm and enjoy the snow if you got some today.

almost a half century

Well it will happen soon on Christmas Ill be 50 years old! It has been the hardest year I have ever had this one almost gone. I have lost more friends then I care to list and I still have yet another funeral to go to next week. I know that we are all getting old and I know that this is the way things go when you reach my age. I just didn't know that it would make me feel so old and that I would forget and want to call people that are gone. I never realized that someday I might not have the people who I look to for information and advice, no I don't mean the older generation. I knew they would pass I mean my friends from high school and my friends from grade school the ones who's birthdays come around mine and are 49 or 50 now, or should be.
I'm going to try and do something about how I feel, old I mean, I just bought a fiddle and I'm going to try to learn to play. I need to move forward and not sit as much Ive been going out to play at open mics and I think it is time to find a way to feel more a part of the world again.this is the goal for the next 25 years to find a way to make it to 75.

happy turkey day

I feel bad for not being here more often. Life had been a bit hectic since my last post much work with the CO that hangs mall Christmas and a lot of other shows and installs in the sound and video world. I reconnected with my old friend Kevin from camp hamp and look forward to seeing him in Fla. it is a nice change from seeing old friends after they have died. I hope that this holiday finds you all well and with family or friends. with much love to all.

lost and found

I just got a letter from a old friend, Ill get to writing an answer this week but it is still hard to find the time. lost all my free time to school homework and a whole lot of projects. I hope that when the winter sets in Ill find the time to blog more and finish the instruments I have started to build this summer. I have rediscovered how much all of my old life really was me. more on that later. have a great fall and Ill check back in later.

back to school night

I just love walking back into the school to meet the new teacher, Hope seems to love her already and I can see why. She seems to be very happy teaching and said to the group of parents that she has always taught 1st grade and loves it very much. Hope has her issues and that always will worry me as she moves from teacher to teacher and they have to learn about her.I have never been good at pushing the system and up to this point I have not had to, That might change as the school psychologist seems to be holding up the next round of testing for Hope. I will know more tonight but at this point I think that I might have to go and find a gorilla outfit soon.

I missed the open mic this week and I was not happy about it. I guess that I now know just how much it means to me to go.

My father in law turned 84 on the 17th so we will be going out there to have a small party for him. At his age each year is a gift, especially since he is in such good shape and still has a lot of energy.

be well and have a great weekend

a bad day

I don't quite know what is going on but this morning I found out that 2 people I know have died. that makes 3 since fest. I know I'm getting old and I know that some of my friends are older then I am but we as a group are not old enough to start the great die off yet. So here is to Jarvis, Kurt, and Robert. All folk fest people all part of the larger fest family I have known for better the 30 years. I hope that they are now in a better place and playing music together.

on with the show

I go in for oral surgery tomorrow. I have a small growth on my cheek and I need to have it removed and checked. yes I am worried, I never smoked except for a tobacco pipe in college and not that much but I am still worried. I have had this lump for a while and all of my dentists have looked at it on and off and said not to worry till now. so I will let you all know as soon as I do. I could use all the good thoughts and prayers you have for me.

on a different subject well maybe not so different my long time friend Jarvis Wilshier died today after a 12 year battle with cancer. he kept going long enough to talk to his friends at folk fest but died just after the fest ended. He was a real open and wonderful person in the 28 or so years that I knew him he always was willing to be there even when he was sick he still wanted to help if he could I will miss him and another ghost will be walking on the old pool farm

PFF

As it has been so shall it be! I am getting ready to do what I have for all of my life, Go to the Phila. Folk Festival. This year as I have for the past 2 or 3 my daughter Suzi will be camping with me. Suzi is now 12 and has a job at fest and will be working back stage with me. I will as in the last few years be dealing with back line gear during the day and color balancing cameras for the evening concerts. I will be camping in a different spot this year down with Canada and the Mermaids. I hope that this will be a good thing. I will miss the oasis and the folks from club ned but the stress that camping there would cause for my friend Ann is not worth the trouble. Summer is almost over and I have started to work on Christmas displays for the malls. good god it is only august 7th and I have placed bids for lighting and have many hours of repair work in the coming weeks. I will be going to fest with a friend in my heart who is no longer with us. Many years ago I was lucky enough to work with Robert Hazard, I was saddened to hear of his passing on Tuesday. He had no reason to be nice to the sound people he just was and the few times I did see him he seemed to remember the shows we did together. May his wife and family find some happiness in the way his music touched those of us that knew him.

I made it

Saturday was quite a day, First Hope had her party, the little ones were quite well behaved and played well together. to my wife's dismay none of the kids wanted cake just ice cream except of course Hope who wanted all the sugar we would let her get her hands on. By the time they left I was ready for bed but I had to go and find a new TV and cook dinner. at 7:00 we had the big girls show up. By 9:30 they were bored with the movie and changed into PJ's and went out into the tent. For then next 8 hours I tended the fire and stayed awake to the best of my ability and watched over the pre-teens as the giggled and had a great time out in the tent. I was not doing as well getting bitten and chewed by the bugs of my back yard. by 5am I went in and got Vicki to take the next shift and make breakfast. it was a very long day. Note to self DON'T DO IT AGAIN!