love and loss

I have always liked the practice of giving cards on valentines day it gives me the chance to tell the people I love just why I love them. It is harder now as I get older and so do my folks to give mom her card. she doesn't know what to do with them any more and so I have just stopped because it brings me sadness to know she cant understand what it is for.

Other people who I would give cards to are no longer in my life but I still remember the love and friendship we had. It would be so wonderful to just express to them that they still have a place in my heart. Remember to tell those you love that you do before it is not possible. Reach into the memories of life you hold dear and remind all of those that matter that you still do love and care for them.

as for me I love you mom have a good day. and Vicki Ill see you in the morning.

Almost 21 years

I have been married for almost 21 year I can look back and remember a time when I thought that 21 years was an eternity. In a lot of ways it is. Much has changed and much remains as it was and I think now will always be. I know that for the past 25 years I have gone to Vermont and gone skiing on the lat weekend of February. I got married that weekend and we still went skiing. The difference now is that we all go the kids ski and we spend the day on the mountain and the evenings in front of the fire place. I hope to as I become too old to ski sit and watch the kids as they bring their friends to the family vacation.

Many things I remember about being with my parents center around the family vacations. Every year we went to fox hollow and then camping after, then it was old songs and camping. with all of the changes in the world right now I have been looking at the things that I want to do with my kids and the family and I realize that it was not any of the expensive trips or holidays like Hanuka and the birthdays that I feel so misty for. It is the time spent camping and skiing that I want to be thinking about.

I know why my dad and mom felt this need to be out in the world now. I cant explain it but I know.